Don’t be offended

Find yourself getting easily offended by the words and actions of others?

Are you quickly irked, miffed or put out?

Do you tut-tut and write angry letters of complaint to newspapers and television stations?

Yes? Get a grip.

Here’s what happens if you find other folk’s behaviour distasteful:

• You get upset, your blood pressure gets raised, you lose a lot of time worrying, and you shave a couple of minutes off your own life.
• Nobody else gives a shit.

Now, IT DOESN’T MATTER what others think, granted, and on top of that, you’re not qualified to determine the thoughts of others, but when you get upset by what other people do, that’s what happens:

YOU get upset. And that’s it.

There are a lot of things in life worth fighting for and getting pissed off about. You can legitimately be offended in the following instances:

• Bob looks you square in the eye and says, “you’re a useless waste of space”.
• Gerald tells you he thinks your kids look like they’ve been dragged through the ugly bush, backwards.
• Ernie borrows 100 dollars and tells you he has no intention of returning it.
• You see your name in a newspaper under the headline “This person is a nonce”. (Of course, you only have the right to be upset if you’re not, in fact, a nonce.)

You may not be offended or put out in the following circumstances:

• Encountering a homosexual, when your religion disapproves. It’s none of your business.
• Overhearing blasphemy, when your religion disapproves. Get over it.
• Seeing a crowd of youngsters smoking in a non-smoking area. (The consequences of getting involved can be harrowing, but it probably serves you right for sticking your nose in.)
• Hearing bad language on the television. Switch it off, don’t write an angry diatribe that nobody cares about.
• When somebody doesn’t adhere to the dress code at the country club.
• When a visitor doesn’t like your curtains. They’re probably only telling it like it is.

If you’re still inclined to take issue with something, because your life is incomplete without drama, then so be it. I’m not here to tell you what to do, you useless waste of space.

You might like to decrease your own stress levels by taking a decision to not be so sensitive in the future. Ask yourself this:

“Was the intention of that person’s actions to cause me offence, or is he just somebody who doesn’t do things the way I do things?”

The answer is normally “no, that person’s intention wasn’t to cause me offence, therefore I won’t get upset.”

On the few occasions that the answer is “actually, yes, I think he did want me take offence”, then don’t take the bait. Smile and nod and say something mildly patronising but largely innocuous.

Don’t give any of those bastards the satisfaction of seeing you upset.