How To Be Happy

• Tweet
• Share
• Email

• Tweet
• Share
• Email

This is a guest post by the brilliant Sasha from the Happiness Project. This is good because a) she is brilliant and b) all of the words I know are going in The Book, and I have temporarily got none left.

How To Be Happy

So, you’re sitting on your sofa and you’re suddenly overcome with a sort of general malaise*. Nothing’s wrong as such – you just feel something’s missing, that life could be better.

Then you realise that you KNOW how to be happier! Of course! What you need is:

• A holiday
• A new/better-looking partner
• More nights out
• New shoes
• To lose 5 pounds
• A new job/payrise
• A baby/second baby/third baby, etc

You achieve your goal and feel absurdly chuffed. But then shortly after, that sinking feeling creeps back in and you’re back on the sofa feeling crappy.

Beware my friend, this little circle will repeat itself ad nauseum until you’re on your death bed moaning “if only I’d gone sky-diving in Acapulco…”.

Because the fact is that true happiness cannot be achieved by the pursuit of things, and it cannot be bequeathed on you by someone else. Happiness is a state of mind. It might be worth repeating that YOU ALONE are the only person capable of making you happy.  Friends and family help, of course, but that’s all they can do – you can’t blame your mother/best friend/partner/dog for your unhappiness.

Unless you’re a naturally contented person, you have to work at happiness. I’ve been writing a blog on how to be happy since October 2009 and I now try to live my life by certain “happiness rules”. I’m still not happy all the time (largely because I’m a normal human being) but I’m definitely more content and more confident and nicer to be around generally.

So, here’s my rules. If you stick with them for a few months you won’t reach Nirvana but I promise you’ll feel better:

1. Be active. Get off the sofa and do some exercise – it’s good for the body and soul and makes you feel, well, smug. 30 minutes of exercise three times a week is ideal. Yoga and running are great. Bowling may not count.
2. Connect more with your friends and family – you’ll get the support you need and your life will be enriched. Pick up the phone and invite an old friend for dinner or sit down at the table with your partner and actually talk for at least one uninterrupted hour a week.
3. Nurture something – grow a plant, re-decorate a room, teach your favourite child how to play chess. Gardeners are happy people, this is a fact.
4. Learn – the challenge and satisfaction will give you confidence and you might actually discover you have a talent for something. Go see a play or gig, teach yourself guitar, book an Italian course.
5. Be Curious – take time out to appreciate the little things. Carry a camera, slow down, look around, take notes.
6. Give – fund-raising and volunteering are ideal but let’s face it we’re not saints. Help your sister move house, bake a cake for a friend, smile at a stranger.

* Please note that if you’ve recently suffered a bereavement, break-up or similar, this post does not apply to you and you need to go into full-on recovery mode. Avoid tattoos, new haircuts and hard drugs – remember this is only a phase.

***