So you’ve got this idea that you need more cash.
That’s good.
Cash can buy you ALL SORTS of nice shit. You can go on holiday to exotic places and get drunk with new people. You can skive off work and work on your tan, or make sizeable and soul-saving contributions to charity to atone for the time you spread that rumor about Janice and her younger brother.
But you haven’t got the money yet.
DON’T WORRY! Follow these simple steps and you’ll soon have that elusive “more cash” that you’ve been dreaming off.
1. Work out how much money you need to make.
You probably don’t need millions, unless you’re supporting a debilitating gak addiction, an avaricious ex-wife and a flotilla of eighteenth-century schooners.
To find out how much you need, perform the following exercise:
a) write down how much you’re going to spend
b) add a bit
Bang! There’s your figure.
2. You don’t get rich by saving money, you get rich by making money
“Drop the Starbucks habit”, “brown bag your lunch”, “make your own clothes from banana skins and plastic bags”
You’ve heard all these before. This isn’t advice for making money, this is advice for avoiding starvation.
3. This is how to make money:
Sell stuff for more than you paid for it.
Whatever it is – your time, your barbecue-in-a-box starter kit, your crate of Taiwanese left-footed plimsolls, your body. It doesn’t matter. You sell shit, you win teh dollarz.
4. Luxury is only a luxury if you can afford it.
(or, How To Hold On To Your Money Once You’ve Made It)
If you have to borrow to buy your Gucci dog-collar, or your herb-encrusted Valentino tiara, you are an imbecile. Gucci dog-collars have no place in your home. Your luxury should be a bottle of sherry and the occasional foot massage.
Drop the overpriced rubbish habit. Arrivisme will get you nowhere (arf).
5. It’s all a game.
So don’t take it too seriously.
If all else fails, remember the “money can’t buy you [insert non-tangible asset here]” adage that’s been consoling poor people for years.
Flashing the greenbacks around can get you lots of shit. But it doesn’t get you height, wit or good manners.
You can learn one of those. And the other two don’t matter.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Thats exactly how I see money – as a game. I used to take it too seriously and I got nowhere. As soon as I realised how little money actually meant to me, I started making some
It’s a game. Think this way and you’ll actually make more. Because you are less scared and make smarter moves.
Thanx. It makes more sense when you put that way. It’s a game. I hate it if I have to count every penny I spent. Cause when I don’t, the cash flows out of nowhere. Bliss.
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