Stop saying sorry! Your apology is unnecessary!
If you’re one of those folk that begins every conversation, phone call or interjection with an excuse – STOP NOW.
There is no need to say sorry all the time.
“I’m sorry to bother you, but do you have …”
“Sorry to be a pain, but I was wondering if …”
“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but …”
You don’t need to do this. It says “I’m not really very confident at all.”
ACT AS IF. Perhaps you’re not confident, perhaps you’re truly afraid of being a pain in the ass. Try a bit of exposure therapy. Ask yourself:
“What’s the worst that I can happen if I don’t apologise for opening in my mouth?”
I guarantee that you can live with the consequences. Never apologise unless you fucked up. Then apologise once, mean it, and move on.
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EDIT: Seth Godin and Traci Love agree with me, which makes it fact.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Omg, I do this so much lol. I know its super annoying but it comes out before I can think about it. Part of it is because I’m southern and its just part of the culture, but most of it is because I think I’m a bother. I try to tell myself that I’m not that important that I would bother everyone just by saying or doing something insignificant but I can’t shake that feeling. I’m in France for a month for study abroad, in Avignon, and its transferred. I say a lot of Je regrette, and my host family is always like non non, pas grave lol. Shop keepers look at me funny. I’m trying to stop. Good advice, I’ll try to use it!
I’ve been working on this, I really have (I’m sor…oops). I never noticed I was always saying sorry until my husband pointed it out. He’s after me about it all the time, so I am getting better. I don’t want to sound like a spineless marshmallow like I do when I’m constantly apologizing for things I have no control over.
Sage advice. Blew a gasket last week with a stupid workmate who was testing my new-found authority. Everything was going great until I made the dumb mistake of apologising for coming on too strong. Oh, what we fun we both had as we watched my power drained away…
I love this because I do this all the time but i mean it. however I never realized how pathetic it does sound….you are right thank you so much for opening my eyes. (btw-im not sorry i ended up here)
I do this all the time, and when I think someone is irritated at me by their choice of words, even more. I hate that but can’t change.
I find it hard to stop apologizing when you’re dealing with the “paper clip police”. If you don’t kiss their hand, you don’y get a paper clip. That’s life.
Well I need Help, I say sorry for things that don’t matter, i say it for not thinking of something ahead of time. i say it i guess so i wont get anyone angry at me, I recently got out of a 6 yr marriage and finally started dating again after a yr. my new bf u can say always complain how annoying it is that i say sorry all the time, he said hes gonna keep count of how many times i say it , so when i truly have to be sorry i have them saved up and i can use them then..lol hes a dork… idk what to do i think about it and i hear myself i sound weak.!
IF YOUR NAME IS BAZOOKI SBS THEN PAY ATTENTION
HAHAHAHHA
I’m sorry, but I just have to tell you what a great post this is. Hope I didn’t interrupt some real conversation.
Nice, I am glad that I stumbled upon this site
I happen to be one of those people who do start almost every sentence with “I’m sorry…” even when people tell me over and over again that I don’t have to apologize. Even on my job a supervisor mentioned that I shouldn’t apologize with every customer I have on the phone. What I like most is that it’s short, sweet, and to the point. It stepped on a few of my toes, but you know what? The truth hurts.
It’s very good I saw this site. I am also a person who always say sorry to people! I was educated that way. I thought it is being kind and being polite to people. I also think that by being sorry it saved a lot of things! I had a boyfriend once who always told I do not need to be sorry all the time and also his mother. But I didn’t exert effort to get rid of them coz I thought it is alright especially I came from a very friendly country. Until now I had another relationship and he is making me see that to be sorry all the time shows lack of character, being looser, being defeatist and especially shows lack of confident. I got offended of course coz I thought there is nothing wrong with it. But I had thought about it and researched and try to surf about saying sorry and I saw this. Good for me. Now I will really try my very best to get rid of them. Thanks to this site.
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