Stop saying sorry!

Stop saying sorry! Your apology is unnecessary!

If you’re one of those folk that begins every conversation, phone call or interjection with an excuse – STOP NOW.

There is no need to say sorry all the time.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but do you have …”

“Sorry to be a pain, but I was wondering if …”

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but …”

You don’t need to do this. It says “I’m not really very confident at all.”

ACT AS IF. Perhaps you’re not confident, perhaps you’re truly afraid of being a pain in the ass. Try a bit of exposure therapy. Ask yourself:

“What’s the worst that I can happen if I don’t apologise for opening in my mouth?”

I guarantee that you can live with the consequences. Never apologise unless you fucked up. Then apologise once, mean it, and move on.

***

EDIT: And Seth Godin agrees with me, which makes it fact.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Porsche May 12, 2010 at 11:49 pm

Omg, I do this so much lol. I know its super annoying but it comes out before I can think about it. Part of it is because I’m southern and its just part of the culture, but most of it is because I think I’m a bother. I try to tell myself that I’m not that important that I would bother everyone just by saying or doing something insignificant but I can’t shake that feeling. I’m in France for a month for study abroad, in Avignon, and its transferred. I say a lot of Je regrette, and my host family is always like non non, pas grave lol. Shop keepers look at me funny. I’m trying to stop. Good advice, I’ll try to use it!

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samantha May 15, 2010 at 5:03 pm

I’ve been working on this, I really have (I’m sor…oops). I never noticed I was always saying sorry until my husband pointed it out. He’s after me about it all the time, so I am getting better. I don’t want to sound like a spineless marshmallow like I do when I’m constantly apologizing for things I have no control over.

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emster July 5, 2010 at 1:34 pm

Sage advice. Blew a gasket last week with a stupid workmate who was testing my new-found authority. Everything was going great until I made the dumb mistake of apologising for coming on too strong. Oh, what we fun we both had as we watched my power drained away…

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PurpleB August 1, 2010 at 4:19 pm

I love this because I do this all the time but i mean it. however I never realized how pathetic it does sound….you are right thank you so much for opening my eyes. (btw-im not sorry i ended up here)

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