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Self development

Self help books will make you miserable.

90 percent of them are utter shite.

They reinforce feelings of inadequacy. With each new tome you digest you uncover more inherent weaknesses you need to rectify and, before you can say “self-realization”, you are addicted to self help.

There are two exceptions to this irrefutable truth.

How To Get A Grip is the last self help book you’ll ever need to read.

But once you’ve read it, be sure to finger a copy of How To Be Rich And Happy by Tim Brownson and John P. Strelecky.

Here’s why:

Most self help books help the author much more than they help you. The Secret to a life full of abundance, apparently, is asking the universe for hugs, vodka and a decent credit rating. Then you’ll be rich and happy.

Bollocks.

Dishing out dollars on books that give you The Secret to the life you want to lead will do nothing but furnish the pockets of the pseudo-psychologists who wrote the damn things.

(Incidentally, if you buy a copy of How To Get A Grip, I’ll be on my way to half a very cheap cappuccino.)

But if you buy a copy of How To Be Rich And Happy you’ll be directly contributing to the well-being of about fifteen other people who wouldn’t normally get to read anything, let alone a book that is genuinely useful.

That’s because the authors have made it their mission to use the proceeds of the book to give away a further 1 million copies of How To Be Rich And Happy to young people, poor people, homeless people and people in recovery.

That seems like a much faster route to happiness. That sounds like a route to INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

For. The. Win.

So why is How To Be Rich And Happy genuinely useful?

It’s useful because it’s practical. In place of the regurgitated, ephemeral bullshit that’s big on generalities and very low on specifics (“step into your true self”, “embrace your one-ness”, “master your destiny”), this book is full of specifics and examples.

It’s a WORKBOOK. Work through it: get a better life.

Particularly useful is the Value Ranking Tool. Instead of saying “focus on what’s important to you”, Brownson and Strelecky give you clear instructions to work out what is actually important to you.

If you think you already know, you might be surprised. I was. Whereas before I was convinced the secret to a happier me was flaming margaritas, massages from petite brunettes and a weekly blow-job, the truth was, in fact, very different.

You’ll be surprised by your results, too. Think you love your kids above all else? Perhaps you do, but perhaps you don’t. You’ll only find out if you buy this book …

I love the common-sense approach. The authors dissect some received wisdom, the kind of received wisdom that keeps you pumping gas or working at Starbucks and complaining about your life, and replace it with some FACT.

The book gives you the tools – exercises mainly – that allow you to very quickly differentiate between beliefs and facts, to be more optimistic (and the reasons why this is a good thing), to demystify money and your relationship with it, and the how to fail spectacularly and still make progress.

PLUS, while we’re talking about progress, therein lies the problem with most self-help tomes. You read them once, you get a temporary buzz, then you’re back to eating out of boxes and only paying cursory attention to personal hygiene.

How To Be Rich And Happy gives you a measuring tool so you can monitor your progress on the rich-and-happy-meter day by day, if you’re so inclined.

With chapter headings like “Congratulations! You’re Not Dead”, it’s very difficult to find anything to dislike about the book.

Tim’s a funny fucker to boot. The storytelling is clever. Not clever-clever, but clever-illustrative. The storytelling helps you get it. If you’ve ever read anything that’s pure theory (like the impenetrable and mystic Conversations With God) you’ll appreciate the usefulness of being given concrete examples of how other folk put into practice the lessons that the book gives you.

In a genre filled with unapologetic horse-shit, How To Be Rich And Happy stands out as an ordure-free call to action. Buy a copy, improve your own life, and make a difference to the lives of others.

3 comments

You are a fucking asshole.

Think you’re not? Think again.

  • You act primarily out of spite? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You bully your secretary, wife, employees or kid brother? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You’re angry at the world because of your small dick? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You watched some homeless dude get beat up and you didn’t do anything? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You don’t make eye contact with the server? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You cheated on your wife? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You buy your way out of problems? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You’re a hater? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You’re always right? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You click on those Facebook links that offer the meagre promise of scant titillation in return for spamming all your connections? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You call yourself a guru? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You say “I’m not racist, but …”? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You dumped friends for cash? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You’re a YouTube commenter? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You reckon fear is a great motivator? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You trade private jokes in public? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You fight first, think second? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You’re a traffic warden? You’re a fucking asshole.
  • You think everybody around you is a fucking asshole? Guess what – you’re a FUCKING ASSHOLE.

So today, try this:

QUIT BEING A FUCKING ASSHOLE.

Be sure to share this. You know plenty of fucking assholes who need it.

12 comments

Me in November 2009**

This is my story of addiction. It is the most difficult thing I have ever written.*

In sharing this with others, I hope I can help those with similar problems.

It started off innocently, as these things always do.

The year was 2005, a little over six years ago.

I was at a party with some people I didn’t know very well. Not friends, not acquaintances, just some folk who I’d met in a bar. They seemed OK.

After drinking a few more beers at somebody’s house, an older guy cornered me and pushed a small brown envelope into my hand.

“You’ll like this,” he said, as he winked at me.

“No thanks, I’m not interested,” I said.

“Just try it once,” he said. “A little bit won’t hurt, and you might even enjoy it.”

I was drunk and my resistance was low. I took the envelope into the guest bathroom, sat on the pan, and carefully opened it up.

[click to continue…]

11 comments

1. If you know how to wash dishes and mean it when you say “thank you”, you’ll never be homeless. [Tweet]

This is the de facto homelessness-prevention solution. Make sure you’ve got one true friend, don’t be an ass, and you’ll always have a bed for the night.

That said, you might want to invest in more than one friend. A guest, they say, is a like a fish: after three days, it stinks.

2. Family comes first. Specifically, family comes before comfort, logic and sanity. [Tweet]

Yep, your family can push your buttons better than anybody else, because they’re the ones that sewed them on in the first place. Take a deep breath. It’s biology, and you’ve got to live with it.

3. If it flies, floats or fucks, rent it. If it flies, floats *and* fucks, buy it immediately. [Tweet]

In fact, buy two. I’ll reimburse you for the second one.

4. If you make your husband explain himself, his testicles will atrophy. [Tweet]

“Where have you been?”
“What are you thinking about it?”
“Does my bum look big in this?”

Matrimony for men is, in large part, an abdication of responsibility for thoughtfulness. You’ve got us. Isn’t that enough?

5. If you make your husband ask for directions, his testicles will actually fall off. [Tweet]

cf point 2. It’s biology.

Try the gentler approach: “Honey, can you pull over so I can buy you some beer?”

Then use that shopping opportunity to secretly determine your route without his shamefaced complicity.

6. The correct response to “can you keep a secret?” is “clearly better than you can”. [Tweet]

And anyway, secrets are misunderstood. It doesn’t count, for example, if you only tell your three closest friends.

7. The correct response to “can I have a slice of your pizza” is always “no”.  [Tweet]

Some things are made for sharing: bodily fluids, bottles of wine, secrets.

Pizzas are like fantasies about sleeping with tramps: best enjoyed alone.

8. You’re not half as smart as you think, but you ARE half as likeable as you are smart. [Tweet]

Even though I wrote this, I don’t understand it. It sounds like it should be true, and slightly catty. But for the life of me I can’t work it out.

Proof, if proof was needed, that I’m not half as smart as I think.

I think.

9. Farting stops being funny in your thirties. By your forties, it’s fucking HILARIOUS again. [Tweet]

(Based on experiences of everybody’s dad.)

I’ll tell you from first-hand experience in ten years’ time. Any corroboration welcome in the comments.

10. If a pharmacist offers homeopathic medicine to a sick child, the law permits extreme violence. [Tweet]

And that, my friend, is FACT.

13 comments